A method and apparatus for enqueuing and dequeuing packets to and from a shared packet memory, while avoiding collisions. An enqueue process or state machine enqueues packets for a communication connection (e.g., channel, queue pair, flow). A dequeue process or state machine operating in parallel dequeues packets and forwards them (e.g., to an InfiniBand node). Packets are stored in the shared packet memory, and status/control information is stored in a control memory that is updated for each packet enqueue and packet dequeue. Prior to updating the packet and/or control memory, each process interfaces with the other to determine if the other process is active and/or to identify the other process' current communication connection. If the enqueue process detects a collision, it pauses (e.g., for a predetermined number of clock cycles). If the dequeue process detects a collision, it selects a different communication connection to dequeue.