A system for eliminating unauthorized email messages ("spam email") blocks all email messages except those that successfully pass through a matching process to verify certain characteristics of the email message, which may include the recipient's email address, the sender's email address, and the sender message handler Internet Protocol (IP) address. The invention provides a mechanism for authorizing a sender by "Adaptive Inheritance," whereby a recipient can designate other email users to authorize senders on behalf of the recipient. In the preferred embodiment if the sender message handler Internet Protocol (IP) address does not match the sender's email address, the sender's message is automatically rejected. If the sender's email address or domain name is not contained within the recipient's PSD, the message is held and the message sender is given directions for requesting permission to send email to the recipient, with a Permission Request Form (PRF) posted at a web site. The completed PRF is made available to the recipient for review, and the recipient must add the sender to the PSD before any message from that sender can be forwarded to the recipient.