A system and method for providing implementing proxy handling of instant messages and the like, wherein proxy recipients are designated by an original recipient, and one or more redirection rules are established indicating conditions under which said designated proxy recipients are to be sent redirected messages. When an instant message is received directed towards the original recipient, the redirection rules are evaluated and the message is redirect to a designated proxy recipient according to the redirection rules, with the display of the received message being suppressed or blocked on the intended original recipient's user interface.