A method and apparatus for providing an automatic called party locator service by intelligently managing lists of contacts. The apparatus includes a contact list manager (10) where lists of contacts are stored, and a locator (60) capable of sending out location request messages and receiving and handling responses. In some embodiments, the current invention may be integrated with call messaging systems, fax and or e-mail systems. In some cases, advanced features such as message delivery method selection, message customization, contact message retrieval or expiration and automatic call dialing may be enabled. In embodiments which support caller identification capabilities, the invention may be configured to have different behaviors based on the identification of the caller.